In today’s fast-paced world, it’s all too easy to slip into the habit of comparison. Whether it’s scrolling through social media or seeing friends hit major career milestones on LinkedIn, negative self-comparison can cloud our thoughts.
Instead of motivating us to pursue our goals, to stay on track and to keep persevering with what we started with, these comparisons often lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and dissatisfaction.
"Why aren't I a director yet?"
"How the hell did they get married before me?"
"Why can't I have that body transformation?"
If you've ever felt this way, you're certainly not alone.
But how can we shift out of this negativity and celebrate our individual journeys?
Here are four key strategies that I believe are going to help you shift out of this mindset.
1. Turn awareness into action
Start with answering these three questions first:
Why am I comparing myself to this person?
Is this a fair comparison?
What am I really seeking here?
First and foremost we have to understand why are you comparing yourself negatively and who is it thats unintentionally putting you down.
Start with a writing these down in your own journal of positivity. Get a pen and paper and get real with your answers. This is the first step of you being able to process these initial feelings.
If you can look at your situation and then come to terms with it being unfair to compare to someone who has had a different upbringing, experienced different relationships, have had different opportunities, etc can you then start to stop being so harsh on yourself.
2. Switch off / Unfollow / Mute
Now social media plays a pivotal role in todays society. We're now looking at content in a different light and versus people talking through the grapevine about what his son did or her daughter accomplished, we're now seeing it on our screens on our terms.
Our surroundings and the people we engage with significantly influence our mindset.
If your environment is filled with negativity—such as social media accounts that make you feel inadequate or friends who constantly boast about their achievements—it can encourage harmful comparisons.
"I'm not slim enough"
"I cant afford that"
"How the hell did hinge work for them?"
It's probably a good time now if you're in this boat to switch off from all that drains you in this negative light. Take some real time to assess who and what you surround yourself with. Evaluate your social media feeds and consider the accounts you follow. Start with answering these questions:
Are your feeds filled with unrealistic portrays of success?
Are you around people who celebrate your wins?
Is everything around you uplifting or are they triggering feelings of self doubt?
If certain accounts bring you down, unfollow them or mute them. Instead, seek out creators who share messages of personal growth and self-acceptance. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. If it's all too much then just switch off from social media apps for a brief time or make a brand new account where you only now follow what it is you want to see and be uplifted by.
3. Envy ➡️ Empowerment
Now you and I know comparisons can so be uplifitng if you take it from a healthy space. When you look at celebrities and their endeavours it's inspiring to really see some of their transformations.
When I listen to Steven Bartlett mention how he dropped out of university and worked in call centres to start with his businesses and build his companies, I take inspiration and drive from that story.
When I see my friend drop ten kilos and get into the best shape and maintain that physique I take commitment and motivation to the cause.
When I watch a podcast like 'shxtsngigs' grow from a place of minimal followers and subscribers to now fans supporting their online presence and watching them live at the o2 I'm very much like damn, consistency and taking risks paid off.
So if you're not going to switch off from social media, and are still going to keep the same friendship group, the question I would ask you is:
What can I learn from this?
What did they do that I could possibly emulate or replicate?
What can I ask them for advice?
Hurting yourself and looking at your efforts and how it's not rewarding you isn't doing anything for your self worth. If anything it diminshes it. In this situation its all about acknowledging how far you've come, understanding how far they went, and identifying what are the other steps necessary to get over the line.
4. CELEBRATE
This one is pretty simple yet very difficult but quiet simply, celebrate how far you've come.
Success isnt a race. Its a marathon. A very unique marathon for each individual. It might take someone years to get their first promotion. It may have taken months of deep healing to find that new partner.
But everyone moves at their own pace. See you have to remember your life is so different to theirs and albeit it might seem similar, you really have walked different paths.
You can't compare yourself to someone who's now married because they were in a twelve year relationship and you've recently started dating again.
You can't compare your business ventures to someone who has been grinding night and day the last five years.
You also can't compare someone's lifestyle to yours, because we all have different fortunes when we're brought into this world.
But you gotta embrace your unique journey and thank yourself for how far you've come.
I'd recommend here once a week writing down three acconmplishments on a card and putting that card in an empty jar or bowl. Do this every week and review how far you've come at the end of the month, at six months and at the end of the year.
By simply jotting this down you will recognise your growth and your successes no matter how big or small they are and you will notice your transformation.
It's important to remember, everyone’s journey is unique. What truly matters is not where you are compared to someone else but where you are on your own path. Embrace it, enjoy it, and watch how the weight of comparison begins to lift—allowing you to thrive as the best version of yourself.
Start implementing these strategies today. You deserve the journey ahead, so take that first step towards a more fulfilling life!
And if you're still struggling book yourself into a coaching experience using the link below and let's get unfltered about whats happening and let's remind you of your superpowers.
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