In today’s fast-paced world, many of us struggle to balance work, relationships, our health, family ties, and personal commitments. After our standard 9-5 we have to care for others and find time to reset and prepare for the next day to repeat the same things all over again.
Does this sound a bit like you?
Does this sound like your routine.
Work hard, no time to play hard.
If anything Work hard, stress more?
While caring for others is important, putting yourself first is crucial for your overall well-being, yet so many of us walk away from this concept. How can I put myself first when I have a family to feed? How can I switch off when I have to put my kids to sleep? How am I meant to keep myself fit and healthy when I just play Uber driver for everyone?
I get this might sound complicated for a lot of you and your lifestyle and maybe its worth getting in touch with me and sharing me your story to see if we can find ways in your busy day to day schedule to find you some “ME TIME”.
Click the link below and book yourself an Unfltered Coaching Experience and lets get talking!
But if you think, a call isn't the right thing for you right now, because let me guess you dont have the time to sit and speak, let me share with you the five ways to put yourself first without feeling guilty below:
Set boundaries - Learn how to say no!
The simple phenomenon of saying no! One of the most powerful and easier words to say. We even have different deviations. “Na”, “nope”, [the head shake], “uh huh”. Yet so many of us kick down our own boundaries to please others first.
Hypothetically let's say you are tired. You are drained. How are you still expected to cook after work for the family after that 1 hour commute back home?
The question I really want to ask is, why is it your responsibility?
Have we not heard of things called Air-Fryers. Ive got a Ninja and it does wonders. 10 minutes and my dinner is ready.
What happens if you tell your partner, or your other family members to just prepare the basics for when you get in?
What happens if you tell the kids to ensure the dinner table is clean or peel the carrots in advance?
Does your evening become that much easier?
If we create the boundary where you aren't the one who ALWAYS does a specific task you give yourself permission to start saying no and asking someone else to help out.
How difficult is it for someone else to load the dishwasher?
How difficult is it for someone else to do the food shopping?
You deserve some me time too, and in this setting up boundaries and saying no to the task you feel you have to do might open up the doors for you to kick back and relax. It might free the time to get back into that series you started months ago. It might give you the time to unwind with your other half and really enjoy each other's company.
Think about what is happening to you by not setting boundaries.
Recognise your needs - Start to eliminate what doesn't serve you
What is it you need?
Extra sleep?
Some more time to hit the gym?
Everyone following a routine in the morning?
It’s easy to fill your schedule during the week and on the weekend with obligations, but not all commitments are equally important.
It's super important you regularly evaluate your responsibilities to identify what truly serves your growth and happiness.
And if you start seeing things on your list of todos which don’t serve you, and its something you don't need nor want to do, go back to step one - START SAYING NO!
When I used to study for my ACA exams I would block out my weekends to study. 9 hours on a Saturday. 9 hours on a Sunday. That meant no time to go to a cousins birthday party because I had to pass. It also meant to time to go out with friends. But the need was to get through my exams so I consciously had to start eliminating things that weren't going to serve me in that moment.
Attending a kids birthday party or getting pissed at the pub were things I just had to put on hold as they weren't serving me. As bad as it sounds, passing my exams were my priority. I had to eliminate these things that didnt serve me.
Make self care a non-negotiable - Block out ME Time
So I spoke about this already but ME Time. What does this include? Well to be honest it's things you want to do.
Personally for me it's my new profound addiction to golf. If im not injured best believe once to twice a week I’ll be getting a round in.
I also love the gym so I’ll be training 4 times a week. ME time also includes rewatching a series like Friends, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, My Wife and Kids, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, The Office. It's just something which allows me to switch off and laugh.
When the boys are playing (Manchester United), you better believe Pri will be there swearing at the screen cheering the lads on and complaining at the referee to why he hasn't given us a penalty.
What is part of your ME Time? And how do you make this a non negotiable. It's important you dial this in and keep it part of your self care daily routine. Make it a non-negotiable regardless to whatever stage you are at life.
Trust me when I say, you will start to resent people and have a negative mindset if you continue to prioritise and put forward others over your growth and yourself.
Embrace your journey - Celebrate your small wins
So many of us crumble at embracing our journey and celebrating our small wins. This is because we have prioritised everyone else but ourself. Hence why it's important you find a way to look at yourself in the mirror, or catch yourself in the moment and give yourself an pat on the back for all you've achieved.
Recognising and celebrating your small victories can be a powerful motivator to keep prioritising yourself. Whether it's as simple as saying well done to sticking to your gym routine this week, or losing that small amount of weight when you jumped on the scales. All should be celebrated as it will encourage you to keep finding time for you!
Actionable tip: Start a daily or weekly reflection practice. Write down one thing you did for yourself, no matter how small. Celebrate that effort!
Self-appreciation leads to confidence and helps reinforce the habit of making yourself a priority.
Reframe your mindset - Prioritising you isn't a bad thing
Society often tells us that putting ourselves first is selfish. If you are from my community it actually looks quite snobby and bad if you just put the attention and focus on you without being there for others.
Terrible as it sounds it's a norm. Hence why so many of my clients I work with have this problem of prioritising everyone else but themselves. The minute they start to out themselves first, it leads to guilt.
But a bit like the pilot telling you to put the mask on yourself first before you attend to others, you cant be the best version of you if you don’t put yourself first. In some communities to be the best mum, dad, sibling, uncle, aunt, child, you have to do everything for everyone else bar yourself.
When I speak to my clients I remind them that they cant be the best version of themselves if they aren't in the right frame of mind to serve and to help. I for one cant coach my clients if my headspace is all over the place.
I cant coach and serve my clients if I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. It does nothing for my paying clients if I turn up for them but only bring 10% energy. Does that make sense?
You have to apply the same logic to yourself too. No matter how difficult that conversation might be, and how you possibly will be perceived, I guarantee you, deep down people will appreciate you serving them when you have all the energy to serve versus a half ass version of you!
Final Thoughts: I want you to give yourself permission to thrive
Putting yourself first isn’t an act of selfishness; it’s an act of self-respect. By setting boundaries, making time for yourself, and celebrating small victories, you can create a life where your needs are met without feeling guilty. Remember, thriving in your own life enables you to support others more effectively.
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